Why?
by sheelaflower
Summary: Akatsuki is asking himself why he decided to give Hana-chan back to Doremi and is looking back on the time he spend with her. Fluffy with a lot of one-sided AkaDore.


**It's finally time I submit something in Ojamajo Doremi. It is such a great anime and it definetly needs more fanfictions. So from today on, I'm gonna write the one or the other story for this fandom, starting with this one. I'm a huge AkaDore fan and that couple neds more supporting. Sorry all you KotaDore fans, you won't be getting anything you'd like from me.**

**Anyways, for all the AkaDore fans out there; enjoy! And don't forget to review ^^**

**Ojamajo Doremi does not belong to me. If it did, Akatuki and Doremi would long be a couple.**

Why?

That is the question she's probably asking herself as well. It's the question everyone here is asking themselves. Why?

Why what? Why did I choose Doremi's happiness over the well being of my kingdom? Why did I want her to understand so desperately? Why did I give Hana-chan back to her?

I certainly don't have the answer and I don't think my friends have it either. Her friends may have them. They look as if they had expected nothing less from her. But does she have the answer as well? I doubt it.

Doremi.

I have the feeling that very name will haunt my thoughts for quite a while, maybe even forever.

I was raised to be a prince. I was raised to behave like a prince. I could only be around myself around my friends, Leon, Fujio and Tooru. But I have been friends with them ever since I could think and they never knew I was their prince. But except for those three, I behave towards everybody the way a prince has to behave towards his subjects. I am nice to them, I compliment them, I show kindness and gentleness …

But that is all just show

A prince has to be nice, but never behave friendly or familiar with the normal folk. I grew up learning that. I had to learn to put a see through wall around myself, so that people could see me, but never reach me. I behave friendly, but in reality I'm distant … cold …

That's probably why Ojijide wanted me to help out Oyajide. Oyajide is too friendly with the girls, he likes them too much. I, on the other hand, was different. I was known to be able to manipulate, have people do what I want just by showing them kindness and that's the way I still am. I am ruthless enough to kill people, to take a baby away from its mother, to torture people, to have them do what I want.

When I first walked into the Mahou Dou, I would have been able to do what I had to do no problem. I did what I had to do. I charmed one of the girls. I acted kind towards Doremi and gentlemanlike, but stayed cold. I kept up that wall that I had built around myself when I was a kid and that way, kept the distance I needed.

Why did I choose Doremi? That's one of those 'why-questions' as well. I don't think I chose her, she was the one who came to me. I just walked into the shop and she was immediately swooned by my appearance. That made her an easy target. She was an easy target. All I had to do was compliment her a bit and I had her at my will. I could get out any kind of information from her I wanted if I played it right.

I was terribly wrong.

But I wanted to be safe. I wanted to be a hundred percent sure I had her, that's why I went on that date with her. That and I thought it would be easier to take Hana if she was by herself. That certainly didn't work. But something else happened that day. I'm not exactly sure what it was that she did, but that wall around me, that wall that nobody had broken before, not even the prettiest girl I've met in the human world, started to crumble.

I was already starting to behave the way I do when I'm around the flat 4 when she showed me the bento she made for us. I was honestly amazed and just the tiniest bit touched. After all, it must have taken hours to prepare all that food. And she was really happy when I complimented her for it. But it was still only manipulating then.

The whole day was actually pretty enjoyable, except for the part where I failed to capture Hana. But one thing really caught me by surprise. Or rather two things. The first one was the Battle Ranger show. Thanks to Doremi, I've become a huge fan of them. Prince or not, I'm still just a boy. I only realized how much I liked that show when I caught myself being down because I didn't win anything at the draw. I was really depressed, something that usually doesn't fit to my standards.

And here comes the second thing that caught me by surprise; the way Doremi reacted to that. She saw me being all depressed and decided to give me the Battler Red figure she won. I was totally stomped at that. Doremi is a huge Battle Ranger fan as well. She's been one for who knows how long and just because I was sad I didn't win anything did she decide to give me her win. That was kindness in a way I've never experienced before.

And then came the smile.

When she gave me her win, I looked at her from a totally different perspective for the very first time. I didn't just see her as my victim, but as a real living creature. And when I realized that, I recognized that smile of hers. It is the most wonderful smile I've ever seen and it was directed at me. It's a smile so bright and so pure, it can heal any wounded heart and even touch and warm the coldest of persons … which would be me. It was a smile that came from the very depths of her heart. It was the smile of an angel.

That's when things started to change.

At the end of the day I, I realized I actually enjoyed my time with Doremi. Sure, she was still just my victim, but that wall around me had started to crumble just a little bit.

The more time I spend with her, the less I thought about my mission and my home. I just enjoyed being around her. Then I started laughing with her. You have a lot to laugh if you're around Doremi, because she's such a klutz. It didn't take long until I could laugh from the bottom of my heart as long as I was with Doremi. Somewhere in the middle of all this, I realized that I smiled. Not a forced smile that I had control over, but a real smile. When do people smile? When they're happy. And I was happy when I was with Doremi.

One time, I caught myself smiling at her when she was ranting on about a guy called Kotake and how much he teased her. She seemed mad and the more she talked about him, the madder she got. I just stared at her and smiled, I don't think I even listened to what she said. When I caught myself at that act, I realized for the very first time that I found her cute. The more time I spend with her, the cuter she got and the cuter she got, the harder it was for me to deny that I found her cute.

The next thing I remember happening was that I started wanting to be around Doremi. I always wanted to be close to her because of Hana, but at some point, I started wanting to be around her because … well … because …

I don't really know why. I think I wanted to be around her just to be around her. I like having her by my side. I like being by her side. I just like the way I can smile and laugh around her. She makes me feel free, like I'm not a prince anymore. I started wanting to feel like that again and again, so I started wanting to be with her for my own sake.

Throughout all this time, I've seen her do acts of utter kindness over and over again. Once, she helped a little kid who fell and scratched up his knee. Another time, I've seen her helping a boy confess. I've seen her bring a fighting couple back together. I've seen her do so many kind things to people she hardly even knows. That's when I realized that she has this very special kind of magic that reaches every person. It brings the misguided back to the right track, heals injured hearts and touches even the coldest of people. And that magic is visible through that wonderful smile of hers.

It was then that I realized that it was a mistake to choose Doremi as my victim, because she has the power to break through my wall. She has a strength that hardly anybody in the world of humans has. She has a heart as big as the whole universe and it's open to everybody. I also realized that it was too late to change directions. I have already been pulled into Doremi's magical presence. I was already drugged from her kindness and I couldn't pull myself away from that drug.

I realized two things at once; first, I liked Doremi, more than just a friend. Second, I didn't want to play with her feelings anymore. I didn't want to betray that smile that seemed even wider whenever she was with me. I wanted to be real friends with her. I wanted to have no secrets towards her. I wanted her to know who I really was. I wanted her to understand.

But there was one event that caused my already shaky wall to fall entirely; when she told me of her dream just a few hours ago. It was a foretelling dream, no doubt. But she looked so sad, so helpless … I never realized someone like Doremi could have feelings like these as well. All it took was a nod from me to make her smile again. I knew that moment that I never wanted to see her like this again, but it was unavoidable. I had to betray that smile. That very thought hurt more than I could have ever imagined something to hurt.

Then came Ojijide's orders. I was fighting with myself with every step I took to fulfill these orders. I knew I had to, it was my duty as a prince. Everything went well, we had Doremi, Hana and the others where we wanted them in no time. I looked down at her and she looked up at me. There was no smile in her face anymore. She looked like she simply wanted to wake up that very moment and realize it was all a dream. She looked like she refused to believe I was floating in the witch world. I'm pretty sure she didn't want to believe that I've tricked her all this time, lied to her all this time. It hurt having to see her like this. All the memories I shared with her ran though my head while she tried to comprehend what was happening.

She was out of it, I could tell. Every single muscle in her body was limp when I told her it was true. I just wished could have told what she was thinking then. I knew she was heartbroken, that much was obvious, but that way she reacted … as if she had shut all emotions away … as if she was about to pass out … as if she had lost every will to live … it was scary. I wanted to run to her and hug her and tell her that I didn't want to do this. I wanted to give her Hana back right on the spot.

But the other girls were faster. They managed to bring Doremi's spirit back, which I was glad for. Aiko and Onpu fought without an afterthought, Hadzuki is too gentle to fight, so of course she didn't attack. I expected a rain of fire from Doremi for having stolen her greatest treasure, but she didn't launch one attack.

I was surprised that Doremi's magic beat mine, even though she was only a witch apprentice, especially since I am the prince of the wizard world, so my magic is more powerful than that of most wizards. I was hurt when she told me to leave. It was obvious she didn't want to see me anymore. So I started talking. I said more than I intended to, but I don't regret it. I wanted her to understand the situation I was in. I hoped her kind heart would forgive everything I've done.

But for the very first time since I met her, she was unwilling to understand.

I saw the tears in her eyes when she asked why I couldn't think of another way. I saw how hurt she was and how hard it was for her to accept the fact that I have betrayed her. I saw the despair in her eyes, the sadness, the pain … the disappointment.

I didn't want that. I wanted her to understand. I wanted her to smile. She begged me. She wanted the pain to stop and we all knew I was the only one who could save her from suffering. She was crying. She was hurting. And I was falling apart. Torn between my duties as a prince and the need to have her happy. I remembered her kind smile and the way she would say my name. Then I saw her in that pain, her heart breaking into pieces. I don't know if it was only because I took Hana or if it was because it was me who took Hana. I hoped it was the second, but at that moment, it didn't matter.

Ultimately, I admitted defeat. It's not like I could have won. I have been fighting a losing battle from the very beginning. With Doremi around, nobody can do wrong and that goes for me as well. Now she's smiling at me again and I can't help but to feel happy. I am happy.

I know now why her friends look they have expected nothing less from her.

I know now how she managed to break my wall.

And I think I finally understand as well.

Why?

Because I love her, that's why.


End file.
